Without You,
There Is No Us
My Time With the Sons of North Korea＇s Elite
A Memoir

Suki Kim
They Just Keep Coming

一段驚心動魄的教學紀實，描寫金正日統治末期最後六個月，作者為北韓北韓權貴子弟教授英文的經歷。

每日三回，學子們排成兩列筆直的隊伍，行進間齊聲高唱歌頌金正日與北韓祖國：「沒有您，就沒有祖國；沒有您，就沒有我們。」那是一幅令人不寒而慄的景象。然而，在日復一日持續的洗腦下，就連金淑姬也在無意間學會了旋律，甚而下意識地輕聲哼唱。

二○一一年，北韓所有大學遭全面停課整整一年，學生們全被送往工地做苦工，唯獨男校平壤科技大學二百七十名學生例外。在這所為高牆環繞、與世隔絕的校園裡，每間教室的牆上都懸掛著金日成與金正日的肖像，漠然地俯視著一切，而金淑姬則以傳教士與英文教師的雙重身分隱身其中。接下來的半年，在老大哥睽視之下，她與這群年輕學子一日三餐同桌而食，孜孜不倦地教導他們英語。

在平壤科技大學的日子，其孤寂近乎窒息，對金淑姬而言尤為如此。她所寄出的每一封信，都須經過審查；寫下的隻字片語、偷偷拍攝的照片，不僅得防範監控者搜查，甚至還得防著身邊那群福音派基督教傳教士的同僚。他們或許不知或刻意忽略，淑姬其實與他們信仰迥異。隨著日子一天天過去，她既困惑，又震驚。她困惑於這些學生說謊時竟如此泰然自若，同時不安於他們對體制的絕對服從早已深植人心。然而，正是如此徹底服從，學生們偶爾流露出的另一面，卻又令她動容，青少年特有的熱情、急於討人歡心的真誠、以及那些尚未被徹底抹滅、對未知世界的好奇心。而她也開始試探性地向他們暗示，在他們所知的世界之外，還存在著新天地。例如，可以自由地上網、隨心所欲地旅行等新奇的事物；更危險的是，她還隱約提及了民主選舉制度，以及在這個叛逃者可能遭受酷刑甚至處決的國度裡，被嚴格禁止談論的一切思想。然而，當金正日去世的消息傳來，這群她所喜愛的這些男孩們一個個悲痛欲絕，她不禁捫心自問，是否真能跨越彼此間的那道鴻溝？

《沒有您，就沒有我們》提供一個極其珍貴且動人的第一手視角，讓讀者得以一窺這世界上最神秘的國度，以及那些金淑姬稱之為「士兵與奴隸」的特權階級年輕人。

A haunting account of teaching English to the sons of North Korea＇s ruling class during the last six months of Kim Jong-il＇s reign

Every day, three times a day, the students march in two straight lines, singing praises to Kim Jong-il and North Korea: Without you, there is no motherland. Without you, there is no us. It is a chilling scene, but gradually Suki Kim, too, learns the tune and, without noticing, begins to hum it. It is 2011, and all universities in North Korea have been shut down for an entire year, the students sent to construction fields—except for the 270 students at the all-male Pyongyang University of Science and Technology (PUST), a walled compound where portraits of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il look on impassively from the walls of every room, and where Suki has gone undercover as a missionary and a teacher. Over the next six months, she will eat three meals a day with her young charges and struggle to teach them English, all under the watchful eye of the regime.

Life at PUST is lonely and claustrophobic, especially for Suki, whose letters are read by censors and who must hide her notes and photographs not only from her minders but from her colleagues—evangelical Christian missionaries who don＇t know or choose to ignore that Suki doesn＇t share their faith. As the weeks pass, she is mystified by how easily her students lie, unnerved by their obedience to the regime. At the same time, they offer Suki tantalizing glimpses of their private selves—their boyish enthusiasm, their eagerness to please, the flashes of curiosity that have not yet been extinguished. She in turn begins to hint at the existence of a world beyond their own—at such exotic activities as surfing the Internet or traveling freely and, more dangerously, at electoral democracy and other ideas forbidden in a country where defectors risk torture and execution. But when Kim Jong-il dies, and the boys she has come to love appear devastated, she wonders whether the gulf between her world and theirs can ever be bridged.

Without You, There Is No Us offers a moving and incalculably rare glimpse of life in the world＇s most unknowable country, and at the privileged young men she calls ＂soldiers and slaves.＂
　　　

■金淑姬／Suki Kim
Suki Kim was born in Seoul and moved to the United States at the age of thirteen. She is the author of the award-winning novel The Interpreter and the recipient of a Guggenheim, a Fulbright, and an Open Society fellowship. She has been traveling to North Korea as a journalist since 2002, writing essays and articles for the New York Times, Harper＇s, and the New York Review of Books.
　　　